So, Mr. Completely, who I have previously, and perhaps erroneously (just kidding, sir) identified in these pages as a gentleman and a scholar and a very deadly shot with Hi-Standard target pistol, has "tagged" me and I'm "it", meaning I have to tell the world what's in my nightstand.
I don't have one. I have one of those monster bed/headboard/wardrobe combos that I had to build the damn house around to get it in here. In the headboard, there is quite a bit of room, and I have certain interesting items in there. INTERESTING ONLY IF YOU'RE A SNOOP, AND I KNOW WHO YOU SNOOPS ARE AND NOW YOU'RE ON MY LIST!
- Dust. Lots of it. Somehow, this space sucks in dust from the rest of the master bedroom. The physics of that escape me.
- Two Garrity 6VDC hand searchlights. These are on sale couple of times a year and I buy them for the batteries, since that is the cheapest way to get one of those ridiculously-expensive lantern batteries. When the batteries wear out, I replace them with the 4-D cell modules that fit in the lantern battery space, and equip them with a decent Krypton bulb, then they will reach out to the corners of my kill zone at night.
- A pistol box for a pistol I never carry anymore (it's a *&*&*&*& .22 short, well made but ineffectual).
- A baggie with a spare barrel for an antique top-break .38 S&W revolver I have but am afraid to shoot because the lock-up is horribly loose and I will get most of the lead into myself or the range lane walls rather than into the target. Besides, .38 S&W is too expensive now.
- Several bottles of various skin lubricants. END.OF.DISCRIPTION!
- A small sewing kit, dime-store variety, almost useless. I still have several of the more manly kits my father, a tailor's son, put together.
- An old phone bill from 11/03...WTF, over? Looks like it didn't get paid. Oh, well, the damn phone still rings (too much to suit me).
- A CD player, personal model.
- A clock radio, Table Concepts brand, over 25 years old and still working properly. This was one of the first LED-digital clock radios ever made. Radios contemporary to it had little rolodex-style number sets that flipped over, making a faint but annoying noise.
- A box of .22 short mini-mag hollow points for the little *&*&*& pistol I don't carry anymore.
- A set of Japanese language cassete tapes (for learning the language, neh?)
- A DVD of the Battle of Britain dramatic movie.
- A fanny pak with 20 guage ammo in it, divided between #8 rounds and slugs. (Not on the nightstand but within arms reach is my handy little Oak Leaf single-barrel bedroom gun, which is there to get me to something more worthy of a proper gunfight. The 18" bbl on the Oak Leaf makes sure to emit a huge roar and flash when this weapon is fired. The ladies of the house would rather fire my 12ga Ithaca pump than this 20 ga.
- Several books. An American Soldier by General Tommy Franks and Failure Was Not An Option by Lt. Col Jim Dixon (a close friend)
- Two brass candlesticks. Box of matches to light the candles with.
- Two blankets in the blanket chest part of the headboard.
- Bottle of Tums-EX.
- Bottle of Ibuprofen
- Box of tissues.
- Empty beverage glass, by the smell, seems to have had rum in it recently.
- A box containing, ahem, some personal items that won't be further discussed.
- My Seiko Navigator wristwatch. The slopes didn't know what had hit them most of the time, for this fine watch timed a lot of bomb runs. It's a self-winder, was chronograph-accurate, but needs a cleaning and re-pressurizing now that would set me back more than I paid for it in 1969.
OK, that's it. Certified to be a true copy, etc.
Now get off my butt with these memes, already. Somebody is taking notes and I prefer to have the contents of my abode remain unlisted.
That is all.