BTDT. Colonoscopy #5 in the books. Raised a few eyebrows at the front desk when I said that I didn't bring a relief driver and wouldn't be doing any sedation.
I do the nurse interview, and they fail to understand that I wasn't going to have sedation and refused to be stuck with an IV. When the nurse tried to tell me that it was a precaution, I told her how far away (8 blocks) the nearest ambulance was and where 911 was on her phone. Then I wrote it out on an addendum to the consent form and had her sign it. That convinced her I was who I was (a curmudgeon).
They send me in to dress in, and I get a size petite gown to put on over my vast ass. It didn't fit so I got to moon the entire staff and half the patients as I walked to the 'scope room. Got on the table, was covered with warm blankets, a nice touch.
Little slip of a gal sets up the ass-scope, and soon the doc comes in. Eastern European with a military haircut, perfect white lab coat and a tie. From his position at the top of the chain, HE thought it OK that I was going in concious. That finally shut the nursing staff up.
He lubes up the snake and up it goes, to the first turn. I prided myself on how good a job I did with the prep. You could have served dinner in there. He starts into the first turn. Backs and fills like a semi-truck jockey, but can't get around the turn dispite blowing me full of CO2 to the point of #9 pain.
Then he says, "Well, I guess we'll have to try the SMALL scope, it makes tighter turns." I'm glad I left my gun out in the vehicle at that point. In goes the small scope. I can hardly feel it, and he greases it around the turn easily, then a lesser zig, couple of zags and he's at the end of the colon, where we get to see the construction, like a two-into-one motorcycle exhaust pipe, that my surgeon had constructed when he took out the damaged part two years ago.
"Nice work", says the scope doc. "Who did the operation". I tell him and the doc allows as how Dr. Lehti really IS the dean of colon surgery in these parts. The snip-and-collect work is done on the way out. All I feel are slight tugging twinges as the little jaws rip the 5 polyps out of my poopchute. None of them bleed enough for cautery (electro-sealing).
I blow several juicy blasts on the netherhorn, but the doc doesn't mind because he is gowned up in plastic. He even looks at his gown each time to make sure there's no blood. Very professional.
Aside from some Class 9 gas cramps, mostly on the first attempt, this was a breeze, so to speak. A short wait of several days for the lab work on the snippets, and I'm done with this ditty.
Just opened a can of misery. Going to have one of these tomorrow. Need it due to a family history of colon polyps, and also because something let go in there a month ago and I bled badly from the butt.
Gotta get some answers.
The mizerable part is the preparation. When they shove a TV camera up your ass, the colon has to be clean. Very clean. Can't have any poo in the poochute, blinds the camera.
That calls for Colonic Cleansing. Two kinds of laxatives and power-washing, better known as an enema. No food. Clear liquids only (Scotch counts).
I'll be up all night, thank you. I probably won't be blogging all night, because Blog Station One is 47 feet from the crapper, too long a distance.
I'll be refusing the heavy sedative that they give the wimps. That may provoke a reaction from the clinic, but I've had 4 of these before, and never had the dope yet, so why start now?
Yep, I'm taking it up the ass, FOR ME! Don't get any ideas, trolls. You are refused, and the refusal is emphasized by a 12-guage, 3" magnum, 12 pellets of 00 Buck. Capiche?
Not saying she will be elected, but there's always that possibility.
This blog exists to teach. One of the things I teach in it is how to look to the future clearly, so as to be able to make proper choices in the present.
This British blogger, a doctor in their broken National Health System, tells it like it is. You should be reading him on a daily basis, for he offers a clear look into the future horror of a Socialist USA, should we allow that to happen. Technical note: the good doctor pushes the bandwidth limit of Blogspot with his blog, and it takes quite a while to load, and will jump all over your screen while it's ginning up.
Don't forget that Hillary, perverting her role as First Lady in 1992, tried to ram through a re-invention of US healthcare that would have had us making the same mistakes as the Brits (and Canadians, and Europeans, etc). Of course, this isn't the only damage she would do to the culture if elected, but if you have to focus on one subject, this is the one to focus on (guns are excessively hot-button, and the subject of them is not good for discussion with lefties).
In light of the fact that the "Mexican Question" is being debated finally, which is good (but hijacked by the (D)onks, according to this, which is bad), you might want to revisit my previous post, written while I was on tour in Mexico.
In it, I talk about the love of the Mexican people for social struggle, and their FREQUENT resort to arms during those struggles.
Certainly appropriate to today's discussion, it seems to me.
Especially appropriate since this week saw the only known incidence of Mexican mass protest for social struggle NOT accompanied by force of arms.
That could change. An armed struggle by illegal aliens within our borders to maintain their status here would make the WOT seem like a barroom catfight between two whores.
The logistics of any such conflict would overwhelm the government's ability to control it, and citizen militia participation would be required.
Not saying it WILL happen, just that it is a possible outcome of this issue being handled badly.
This could happen anywhere. We are entirely too trusting a nation when it comes to vital things like the safety of our water supplies.
The Federal government will spend billions and mandate local spending of more billions to add things to the water supplies when their "health nazis" tell them we should be infusing our bodies with this crap (flouride, for example).
They won't spend a dime on something as simple as common security systems for unmanned water facilities, though.
I don't know what Usama is thinking right now, but if I was going to plan an attack on this country again, I would go for the psychological jugular, and have about 20 terrorists do just what these kids did: break into small-town water plants. The fear generated by that kind of attack would cause the nation to have to shift huge amounts of resources.
That is called a "force-multiplier"
That is effective battle strategy.
We are wide open to this sort of mayhem, and we are too stupid to know it.
As much as I would like to send this to Acidman, I will restrain myself. ************************************************************************** UPDATE: 032906 1920 PST: Acidman posted it himself, in his usual fashion. *************************************************************************** The animal control officer apparently couldn't restrain herself, though. She issued a "restraining order" to the unruly cat.
Word on legal process, Officer: you're full of shit. Legal process is for HUMANS, and the law only assumes that HUMAN BEHAVIOR will be restrained by your orders. Forget what PETA told you, there is no level of animal "intelligence" that is recognized by the law. Animal Welfare, yes, but as I've pointed out in these pages before, animal welfare is a matter of the stewardship and husbandry of HUMANS towards ANIMALS. The process assumes a downward flow from humans to lesser species, and NEVER the other way around.
Cite the cat's owner, that's appropriate, but leave the theater out of the process and forget about citing the cat.
BTW, Officer, since you're obviously trying to get a gig on Animal Planet's Animal Cops, you'll be out of luck. The show's producer tries to put on a show that highlights the law as it properly pertains to animal owners. He will not want to use someone who makes a mockery of that.