Here are some snips from the wastebasket of the newsroom, but properly reported, they take on new meaning ("dog bites man" theory).
Item: The Supremes don't have enough real work, they have to re-visit obscenity? I can't think of a thornier issue, nor one which has been made more irrelevant by technology. This turd goes into YOUR pocket, Justice Roberts. BTW, on background, Cher is NOT a nice lady, and she DOES say shit with a mouth-full of it.
Item: The Chinese have an armed bandito on the loose, and have devoted 13,000 cops to hunting him down? Nice to have that many extra cops, I guess. Any bets on whether the bandito makes it to trial? I didn't think so. Yes, Sergeant, I will accomplish the Field Execution Report before ending my shift, yes sir. BTW, isn't armed banditry un-possible in disarmed Commie regimes?
Item: If you're touring emerging nations, and you stop into a restaurant to eat, walk around and sniff the air a bit. I can't imagine boiling up a tiger creates very good and yummy smells. Probably how the Viet rozzers got onto this guy, and when they remembered his previous convictions for trade in endangered species, that must have convinced them. Methinks he will do more than two years this time. Another possibility is that he gets used as bait to lure tigers for their tiger relocation programs. Jeebus! In this country, you can get 5 years just for possessing one eagle feather, even if the Feds can't prove that the bird didn't just molt the feather and grow a new one.
Item: HooTF cares about Tiger Wood's ex? How many REALLY think that she tore down that mansion she got from him because it was buggy and didn't meet code? I don't. Bugs can always be exterminated, and code violations can be repaired. She tore it down for the same reason she used his golf clubs to trash his Escalade: she's a vindictive woman. To me, this is THE prime example of not doing your homework. When Tiger married this chippy, she was a rising-star model. When I heard they were engaged, I googled up her photo portfolio, and yes, she DID pass my eye-easyness test. Tiger's big mistake here was not Googling before he tied the knot...all his troubles stem from that. There is an old word, cuckold, that fits here. Tiger was made into a cuckold by the broad, and the fact that a bazillion men saw his wife naked before he did. He never got over that, and let his peckerwood overcome his 3-wood. I hope he gets by his troubles, but part of getting by them means admitting he made a bad choice of wife.
Item: The Kiwis have a messy shipwreck on their hands. This wreck and it's aftermath remind me of the Oregon shipwreck of the M/V New Carissa a few years ago. While bureaucrats pondered, lawyers traded legal processes, so no one DID anything and the ship was reduced to scrap by the relentless sea. Don't people ever learn? The time to get a shipwreck off a reef is the tide after it goes aground, not three months later, because some dumbshits have worries about the fragile reef. Now my doctor-daughter has a few less beaches she can loaf on between her hospital shifts there, so I guess I'll hear about this from her, too.
That's all folks! Salvaging the news right after it runs aground is fun for a while....
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