Ta-Da! A new category, Police Blotter! Enjoy the humor of the profession.
In the ghetto in the City, MY The City, Gresham, aka Rockwood, the po-leece received a call about two people doing the nasty on the hood of a car parked on the street. The call was verified as the Boys in Blue rolled up, and a mostly naked lady scoots for the driver's seat when she saw the cruiser. So did the male, but alas, he dropped his heater as he did his arabesque into the passenger seat, and was subsequently arrested for Felon in Possession of a firearm. Hard to blame him for being armed, though: in that gang-infested street of Section-8 housing, he was at severe risk of a drive-by busting a cap on his naked ass. Sheeet, if he reads this blog and emails me, I will even testify in his defense that 194th & SE Yamhill is a baaaaad part of town which I never go into without MY heater...
The following examples of police work happened in Forest Grove, a smaller City on the western edge of the metropolis, hard by the bigger burb of Hillsburrito...
Item: 9-20-2015:"An officer located a vehicle parked in the wetlands parking lot in the middle of the night. A man inside was reportedly using a free Wi-Fi signal to watch pornography from a portable device. A records check revealed the man's driver's license was suspended at the felony level but he denied driving. Further investigation revealed the man allegedly lied. He was later arrested and lodged at the Washington County Jail."Comment: one might surmise that the man took the noun "wetlands" seriously...
Item: 9-21-2015:"A woman contacted police claiming to be the wife of a Forest Grove officer. The woman was confused and rambled about various topics and acknowledged she was having an anxiety attack. When asked why she was telling people that she was a police officer's wife, she stated that a Mexican cartel was after her for reporting drug activity and so she was using a police officer's wife's alias so they would not bother her."Comment: it was a week until the Super/Eclipsed/Blood full moon, too.
Item: 9-22-2015:"A man violently resisted during his arrest for trespassing, which resulted in minor injuries to officers. The man was lodged at Washington County Jail."Comment: Policing at night sure has changed. In my Patrol days, if a subject so much as started to swing on an officer, it was appropriate to use countervailing and superior force to control him, usually with a heavy flashlight or a nightstick (we didn't trust Mace or Pepper in a fight, and hardly ever used it). If, by some major miscalculation, an officer or officers got a bump or a bash during such an arrest, we didn't report it, because the "ha-ha" from the other troops was far harder to put up with than the minor ouches of the conflict. In my day, the District Attorney also didn't think much of Resisting Arrest cases, because his deputy DAs would have to defend the po-leece violence in front of the judge/jury. We kicked ass, took names, filled the jail every night. That was MY sort of police work.
Items: 9-25-2015: (only TWO days before the Super/Eclipsed/Blood full moon): "A caller reported a 13-year-old girl wearing gray leggings dancing around and acting strange. She was reportedly last seen walking towards the dance studio." Then, "A caller reported someone at Safeway unlawfully selling kittens. It is not illegal to sell kittens."Comment: In some of the Boat People parts of town, those kittens would wind up on a BBQ pit, so it could be illegal to sell them for that purpose...
Heh. I just filled up my anti-socialist Lexus LS Guzzlemobile with Premium, for which I paid the paltry price of $1.84/gallon with my Freddy's (Kroger) Fuel Rewards card. The discount was 60 cents, which made the pump price of the fuel $2.44, still decent for top-grade.
The wannabe-socialist President has definitely failed his base on THIS one.
Oh, and this tankful is for YOU too, yer Holiness hollowness.
I have an attitude because this URI won't go away and I'm probably a silly millimeter away from developing pneumonia. Prevention requires me to stay indoors and not breathe any cold air for long. This sucks, and has for two weeks now.
The attitude causes me to feel sorry for myself and to take a critical approach to the world. Sorry, that second part is the normal me, the attitude is the first part, and I don't usually snivel about myself.
So, I went back to my basic military training in USAF Officer Training School for the answer.
True story follows. Was caused by my problem of reporting to OTS with two left feet...
Scene: 1967. Medina Annex to Lackland AFB, TX, on the drill pad where we learn to march and to LEAD formations in marching movements: I had just screwed up and marched the Flight of 40-some Officer Trainees off the drill pad and into the weeds while trying to have them execute a double flanking movement:
Flight Training Officer: "OT, do you have an attitude?"
Officer Trainee (having been told at the first assembly to always tell the truth): "SIR, I do have an attitude!"
FTO: "OT, you have three seconds to get rid of it. If the Air Force wanted you to have an attitude, you would have been issued one. The entire Flight will now give me fifty pushups because OT Schneider has an unauthorized attitude."
Result: The entire flight will now know to watch OT Schneider very carefully for future development of unauthorized attitudes. Cooperate and graduate.
1. You are now permitted to listen to Christmas music. All previous Bah! Humbug! classifications of Christmas music before Thanksgiving are now removed.
2. You are now permitted to plan for decorating your abode and/or place of work to a Christmas/Chanukkah/Eid theme. Just call your theme what it is, not the generic "holiday" theme.
3. "Winter" is not a holiday, it is a season. If you "celebrate" Seasons, you may celebrate Winter. If you do NOT live/practice an Earth Religion such as Wicca, you may NOT celebrate a "Winter Holiday". You might bring this up at the next School Board metting you attend as the resident Culture Watch.