Nom de plume: Rivrdog

I am embarrassed to be a Duck Fan

This guy said it better than I can, in probably fewer words, and with no  expletives.

The same Duck blog has a poll about what to do with the gangster, LeGarrette Blount. There are three options. I chose the "nuclear" option. By doing that, I have just written off the entire Duck PAC-10 Football season. Blount is THAT capable as a running back and there is no one to take his place.

The season may be toast anyway, since the new Head Coach, Chip Kelly, doesn't seem to have a handle on what it takes to get a team ready to play Division 1A football. This was clearly the most unprepared Duck team I have EVER seen take the field on it's first game. The 8-19 score would have been 0-38 if Boise State had been better prepared themselves.

The O-line couldn't have pushed it's way through a nursing home.

The running backs, Blount included, couldn't find holes to run through, and almost never got past the first BSU tackler.

Play selection (Coach Chip Kelly) sucked. Boise State's head coach mixed up his selections well, and kept his team moving (their Red Zone execution will be a nightmare source for them, to be fair). Oregon couldn't get a first down until well into the THIRD QUARTER.

On defense, there were more missed tackles than blue threads in the Smurf Turf (BSU plays on royal-blue turf). Unless the Ducks gang-tackled, they never stopped a BSU runner or receiver until the third man hit him. BSU ran between the tackles a LOT (why not, when it works!), and the Duck secondary failed to adjust to that 20-foot-wide football field by tightening up the secondary, so BSU just kept getting 5-9 yards up the middle, every time they tried it.

There were about 3 pass-interference calls on the Ducks in the first half, not bad, since the refs were calling it extra-close, and BSU threw 6 to 8 sideline patterns in the half. They didn't need to pass much though, with their interior running backs' performances and the total domination of their O-line over Oregon's D-line.

Even ESPN sucked. By now, I'm used to the Ducks getting no respect, but there were two Boise State announcers in the booth, no lie. Also, ESPN has had almost a year for their engineers to figure out how to adjust the color transmission to deal with the effects of royal-blue uniforms on royal-blue turf. They didn't, and even on my 42" plasma with it's rich color discrimination, the game was largely unwatchable, mainly because there were few close-up shots taken, mostly overhead shots. Normally, when a wide-lens overhead shot of a play is taken, it is immediately followed by a close-up in slo-mo. This was rarely done, and all we got was those damn overhead shots on 2/3 of the plays. It was like watching game film. The "experts in the booth" never bothered to analyze Oregon's failures, which they should obviously have done since they were both Boise State fans.

What suckage. Now we're waiting for the PAC-10 commish (FNG also) and the NCAA to drop the hammer on Blount. Athletic Director Mike Bellotti ought to beat them all to it, terminate his scholarship and give him the boot. There are enough gangsters in professional sports, let Blount volunteer for the next NFL draft and see if some softie coach like Andy Reid of the Eagles will let him try out for water boy. He might have been excused for letting the taunt of the BSU defensive tackle Hout get to him after the game, but he has ZERO excuses for then going after two Duck fans in the stands, who did nothing more than tell him he sucked (the truth).

I don't remember when a Head Coach was fired after just the first game of the season, but I surmise that there are a few Duck fans researching that right now...

Was there ANYTHING good that a fan might hang on to? Yep, the Ducks have a world-class punter (their most-needed player right now). The kid is just a frosh, too. Jeremiah Masoli HAS matured as a QB, has a VERY quick release on the short stuff into the flat and the screen zones, and was only intercepted once. He has studied well and practiced hard. He WILL play on Sunday in the NFL someday. Unless the rest of the team, from the Head Coach on down, climbs on the excellence bandwagon with him, the entire Duck season will be a lost cause.

Where does Oregon start? The O-line. The runners MUST have better holes to get into the secondary with. Masoli NEEDS more time if he's ever going to throw a pass over 4 yards. Get those big boyz back into the weight room and put another 100# on their weight bars. Feed them better. Hell, find them hotter wimmen. Whatever it takes so they don't get shoved all over the field AGAIN, this time by the Purdue Boilermakers at Autzen Stadium next Saturday.

I'm trying to "get it"

So far this weekend, I have watched about 3 hours of the "X-Games".

It's supposed to be "Sport". I'm really trying hard to understand the games in terms of Sport. I've done everything but turn my hat around backwards.

There are heats and medal rounds in skateboard, motocross, freestyle bicycle-in-the-half-pipe (excuse me, I don't know what that's called as a unitary sport) and Rally Car, among others.

The rally car races are supposedly based on the wildly-popular (in Europe) bad-road rallies. We used to have just a few of those here, including the Michigan Upper Peninsula's notorious "POR" (Press On Regardless), which regularly killed a driver or navigator or spectator or two. It used to run within a few miles of my house when I lived up there, but I never went to it, since ice-fishing was a MUCH better excuse to freeze my ass and get drunk on Peppermint Schnapps.

In the X-Games, most of the Rally Car racing is done in the main stadium, with some parking-lot work (which used to be called Gymkhana) and some brief speed runs over short roads with a layer of dirt laid down on them. The Subaru WRX seems to dominate (and may be the required car for the race). I attended a few Gymkhana races in my youth, and I seem to remember that faster runs could be made WITHOUT drifting the car around corners with all tires spinning (well, there weren't any 4WD sports cars then). Maybe tire smoke is scored.

I dunno about these X-Games. They have a serious lack - no tradition, and when they DO try to be traditional to some degree (motocross has been around for quite a while), they succumb to the temptation to add un-necessary complications to the events. In this version of motocross, there is a huge jump required. Same in Rally Car. Why? The objective in both courses is to get around the track faster than anyone else, not to see how much "air" a dirt bike or a Subaru can get. "Catching air" slows you down, and of course, you have zero control while catching air.

Then again, all you have to do is gaze at the main sponsors. Almost ALL of them have something to do with caffeine addiction. The "energy drinks" seem to be sponsoring almost all the events.

Maybe it's entertainment for the youth of today, who have probably grown tired of traditional sport with it's rules that never change. It is these rules that give us some standard by which to measure those who participate in those traditional sports down through the ages, though. I can feel fairly sure that Babe Ruth, the Sultan of Swat, would still be the home-run king if he were playing today, because the rules of baseball haven't changed much.

Seventy years from now, will anyone be able to say that about a skateboarder?

"Thank you for giving me back my life"

...Helio Castroneves to car owner Roger Penske (and maybe to God as a prayer of thanks) after winning the Indianapolis 500 IRL race.

Background: Last year, the IRS accused Castroneves of hiding US$5M of his income in Panama (that income in question was earned in Mexico, I believe, at races there), and Castroneves refused to plea bargain and a trial ensued. He was just found Not Guilty and the Government dropped the last charge last week.

This week, he gets into his beautifully-prepared car and runs a smart race, easily leading the last 30 laps or so and winning by over two seconds.

That's MY idea of a perfect week. Yessir, kick the IRS to the curb one day and two days later win the Indy 500. Good week, yes.

"Wrong Ball" trick football play

Every baseball fan has probably heard of the "hidden ball" trick, where the infield tosses the ball around, the pitcher pretends to have it and prepares to throw a pitch, the runner on first takes a lead, and is immediately tagged out by the first baseman, who has the ball hidden in his glove. It actually works, but rarely.

How about a similar type of play, but in football?

Impossible, you say?

Here's a video.

Probably wouldn't see that in the NFL, but I wonder what the highest level is football is where it has worked (or even been tried).

Holiday Bowl

Three and a half hours until kickoff.

Do not call.

Do not email.

Do not even text message or Tweet (04283) me until the game is over.

I'll be glued to my Vizio 42" Plasma watching the Oregon Ducks take apart the Oklahoma State Cowboys.

Oregon's average football day includes 500 yards of offense, and their slashing defense keeps most games one-sided. If QB Masoli could throw a downfield pass, the Ducks would be waiting a few more days and be playing for the national title this year.

Masoli's getting better, and hopefully, next year he will have a stronger arm and better eye, but in the meantime, Belotti's gang will beat up on OKy State.

Guaranteed.

Go Ducks!

*****************************************************************************

UPDATE: 123008 2202 PST: Tough game, but the toughest men on the field were Ducks, so they won. It was a classic Cowboy ass-kicking contest, but the Cowboys lost this one. The Duck defense knocked their #1 receiver/back out of the game, then put THREE bell-ringing hits on their QB which took his edge away, and QB Masoli DID throw exactly three downfield passes, connected them, but RUSHED for three TDs in the third quarter alone.

After watching the Ducks prevail 42-31 in that nail-biter, I turned on the Trailblazers game. Wasn't expecting much, since the World Champion Boston Celtics were in town and Blazer star Brandon Roy was sidelined, but with the game tied at 64 at turn of the fourth quarter, I pulled up a chair and got out the Teacher's. By the time I had put two good hits on the Teacher's, the Blazers had traded the Celtics blow for blow, and stymied THEIR stars (hell, the Celtics are ALL stars), and the hometown crew sent the Celtics packing back to Parquet-land with a five point loss, only their 5th of the year.

Decent night of sports for Oregon.

Le-lympics

It's that quadrennial sports time again, Le-lympics.

Following arcane rules of qualification, athletes from all over the world have convened in Beijing to try to perform in the worst smog on the planet. Many will give it their all, and cook their lungs, ruining their athletic careers. At least one medal-caliber marathoner has dropped out of the marathon to save his lungs and will only run the 10K.

The worst thing that has happened to the le-lympics since Munich ('72) is the inclusion of trash sports on an "experimental" basis.

This year we have BMX racing. Whoopee-doo.

I'll probably watch the track and field, most of the rowing and maybe the basketball, but when good choices in those sports aren't on, I'll watch ESPN, pre-season NFL football, baseball and NASCAR.

The next worse thing happening to the le-lympics is PeeCee. We are treated to sob stories straight off the Greta Van Whineren Show, and even get a shot of a Down Syndrome kid  superimposed on a Olympic medal podium.

Bah, bring on the summer's best prospective entertainment, the Democratic Party Convention. At least the PeeCee will look like it belongs there.

Just askin'

Does anyone know why the name of the MLB baseball club in Tampa-St. Peterburg, FL was changed from the "Devil Rays" to just the "Rays"?

Inquiring minds want to know, and since the team plays in a public edifice, I would hope that this isn't some evangelical pressure coming down on the team here.

It's a done deal, but folks, if religion WAS involved in forcing the baseball club to change it's name, it's past time that we stopped giving fundie Christians a pass on stunts that we would bear down on Muslims for.

No, I'm not supporting Islam here, I am supporting the religious neutrality that is the law of this land.

Sports begging

In the past 10 years or so, sports marketing has drastically changed in this country. Turn on any major league sport you choose, and I guarantee that in the pre-game blather, you will hear an appeal for some charity or foundation that either the league or some wealthy super-star in the league is sponsoring.

It's getting nauseous. When I turn on my TV to watch a game or a race, I want to watch that sport, not some endless schmooze on how upstanding the league, team or players are because they supported XYZ charitable cause. Anymore, though, I don't have a choice, if I want to catch up on team stats, I need to get a sports paper or go to a sports website, because a good portion of the airtime in the pre-game discussions will be devoted to begging.

It's gotten so bad that NASCAR is involved. Stock car racing (which hasn't raced "stock" cars for 20 years) is so involved with their charity du jour, "Autism Speaks", that the order of the pre-race activities had to be changed to allow for begging in front of the huge crowds at the racetracks.

I suppose the more charitable among you readers will say I'm over-reacting to all this, and to answer you, I have but two words: Michael Vick.

In case your memory is worse than mine (hard to imagine THAT), you should be able to recall that animal-abuser Vick initially tried to buy his way out trouble with an offer to donate millions to an animal charity. Now, his lawyer wouldn't have made that offer if he didn't think it had a chance of succeeding.

The Mrs. went to a Portland Trailblazers game last night (NBA in case you don't follow pro-basketball, or more accurately, professional bastardy). Portland played the ever-tough LA Lakers and beat them, but the Mrs. came home with a beg offer from a charity that one of the coaches has set up.

Look, I'm not against these charities, I'm against mainstreaming begging into our culture. Anyone who wants to be charitable can give as much as they want, and I can't speak for you, but any charity which has to resort to sports figures selling it's cause is trying too hard.

And NO, HELL NO, sports figures who indulge in their favorite forms of gangsterism cannot absolve themselves by donating money to a charity. In my opinion, that just makes them slightly-less-rich gangsters.

Chatter, comma, various

The first arctic front of the season is here. Temp is still 35, but the dew point has fallen off to 16 and the wind is blowing moderately from the east.

Of course, with the need to keep the house warm, tomorrow we start the reconstruction cycle from the pre-Christmas flood damage. Maybe I should send the insurance company the heating bill...

The Conference Championships were both good football games, but the AFC Championship was predictable, which the Chargers charging hard, but not hard enough with LT on the sidelines, and the Patriots showing steady, if not world-beating style to beat them.

The NFC Championship was anything but routine, with the "ice bowl" conditions in which it was played. Brett Favre seemed to run out of arm at the end, and the game was decided in OT by the Giants' rookie kicker, who had missed two field goal attempts in the 35-40 yard range before making a 47-yarder to win the game.

The Duel in the Valley of the Sun will feature the Giants and the Patriots, and I'm betting on the Pats, thank you. Can we play the game now? Oops, I forgotz. There has to be two weeks of intense blather first before the game can be played. My bad.

Under-rated

The Oregon Ducks, who just beat "Tied-for fifth" Michigan, 39-7, on National TV, running up 646 yards of total offense, the second highest total ever recorded against ANY Mighigan team, and Oregon's upstart QB, Dennis Dixon had over 290 yards of offense himself, including passing for 3 TDs and running for one. He had almost that many last weekend in Oregon's defeat of Houston.

The Ducks don't even register on the AP's poll.

Dennis Heisman?